Remeber When
by AgentSnowex
Summary: Wooot A song fic, and my first one at that. C: It's to the song Remember When by There for Tomorrow. It's told from Suzauk's POV, regarding things mainly about Zero Requiem.


**A/N: **So this is my first songfic. C: This song reminded me _so_ much of Suzaku and Lelouch, maybe not exactly in a romantic way, but as friendship goes, it really did. You could interpret it either way, I guess. The song is called "Remember When" by "There for Tomorrow" C: So this song played the whole time I wrote this. xD Told from Suzaku's POV, btw. C:

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN CODE GEASS, KAY?

_Your initial reply hit me undercover,_

_When I lost my head to it._

_It was out of its time, it was undiscovered_

_As I caught my breath again.  
_

He said it. He said those few words, for the second time, which made me want to break. I looked in his eyes, and nodded briskly, trying to hold back that fountain of tears that threatened to escape. Why did it have to end this way? But the more I thought about it, the more I realized, it _is_ the only way. And if he says it will work, then I know it will.

"Suzaku, You will kill me, as promised."

Those seven words made my breath catch, made me want to run away from him, call the deal off. But I knew I couldn't do that. We had sins that need be repaid. We had a duty that nobody else could understand. We would continue what we started; we would finish what we started. In the end, he won't come back alive.

_You were running out of lies to keep me under,_

_Afraid of your black hands._

_So to speak, you had me shaking at the knees._

I can still remember the first time he told me, back in the World of C. He explained everything to me in utter detail. Everything made sense. Why he killed, why he hated, why he hurt, all of his sins.

"Suzaku, you have to kill me." He had told me that. His words held so much power, I almost agreed without a second thought. But when I thought about what he had actually said, I fell to my knees. I didn't care if C.C. was there watching me. I fell to my knees and cried.

"I won't. I won't kill you."

Little did I know.

_But I don't know the way out of this mess,_

_No I don't know the way out of this mess._

_And if you would've seen me at my best_

_Would it have changing anything at all?_

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to stop him. He persuaded me, he made me agree. I was stuck doing his dirty deed. I was stuck with the sin of his death on my hands. Yes, it was a sin to kill him. He had been working to save the world, whether or not he killed, he was doing it for the good of the people.

If I had joined him when he offered it, would this have changed? Would we be rulers, but fair ones? Ones that brought peace instead of destroyed someone so beautiful to create it?

_Remember when - - - We never had to remember when times were better,_

_When times were better than this_

_We never had to remember when times were better,_

_When times were better than this._

We had taken a few trips to old memories. We sat up that night before I swung that sword. We talked about the days when we could sit and laugh and actually mean it. When our smiles weren't fake, and our lives didn't feel like a complete lie. Back when we had that childhood innocence, that childhood excitement.

Back when he was Prince Lelouch and I was his Knight Suzaku. Ironic how things turn out the way you planned, but the way they end and the way they begin are completely out of sync.

That was the last time I saw him laugh.

_The door was always open,_

_But still not nearly enough to let me in._

Every night since we moved into the palace, he offered me something I should have accepted. He told me every night after dinner that he'd enjoy my company, that he'd like to have a chat with me, that he'd like to play chess. Something different every time. And yet, I never had the will to do it.

I was scared.

_And my eyes are wide awake,_

_And I can see you clearly, but you don't stand out one bit._

I realized something the other day. I knew all along that Lelouch was Zero. I knew it from the very beginning, when he saved me from being executed. Who wouldn't remember those ridiculous hand movements, that beautiful way with words? His voice was even similar.

Once it was confirmed he was Zero, I had always wondered why I didn't realize it before. And ever since I've been living at the Palace, I realized. I didn't want to hate Lelouch.

_I was always loud enough just for you to hear me,_

_You never caught the wind._

_Now watch me break,_

_Breakdown this time, this time again._

I told him I loved him once. It didn't turn out so well. We were little. I took a small sheet of paper and wrote the three words down and handed it to him. When he unfolded it, I couldn't help but shuffle my feet and look at the ground.

It wasn't until I heard the crumpling of the paper and seeing it on the ground next to my feet did the tears start coming. I looked up at him, my walls on the brink of collapsing. He stared at me with disgust, and maybe something else I couldn't decipher.

"Boys shouldn't love boys." Was all he said, and went back to what he was doing. I'm not sure if he knew, but I left and ran to our small patch of sunflower's and cried. For a long time.

_And I'm still waiting for a sign,_

_Or just a win-win situation._

_Can I hear it one more time?_

_Without the sound of devastation setting in._

Then he told me he loved me. That night, we were discussing those old memories, he brought it up. He brought up the piece of paper.

"Suzaku…" He mumbled, my tears were threatening to make themselves known. I never stopped loving him, not once. "You have to understand."

"Can we please stay away from this subject?"

"No we can't." He cupped my face with his hand. "Suzaku, I love you too."

He didn't say anything else. He held me while I cried, and I whispered the soft words of another 'I love you.'

_Your initial reply hit me undercover,_

_When I lost my head to it._

_It was out of its time, it was undiscovered._

_When you let me in,_

_Oh, won't you let me in?_

Before I left to go to sleep that night, I couldn't help but ask.

"Lelouch….Why didn't you ever tell me?"

He simply smiled, and grabbed my hands. "Suzaku…If I had told you, how would all of this played out?" He muttered with a sadness I had never heard before in his voice. "I couldn't tell you. I couldn't make your life any more complicated."

"You…" I choked out a sob. "You've felt this way all this time and never told me?"

He nodded. I almost hit him. Instead, I grabbed his face and planted my lips on his. He didn't respond for the first couple of seconds, maybe out of surprise or maybe because he was scared to. But then he let passion take over, and soon enough he was kissing me back.

Why did this have to end?

_Remember when - - - we never had to remember when times were better,_

_When times were better than this._

We woke up the next morning in each others arms. After that kiss, we found our way to the bed and just held each other, afraid to let go. We didn't sleep, we didn't talk. We just let our eyes gaze into the others, and let our lips move together.

_We never had to remember when times were better,_

_When times were better than this._

When I shoved that sword through his stomach, when people started chanting my new name, when people ran to release the prisoners, I cried. I held back from running to comfort Nunnally, from running to shove her away and hold the now cold body in my arms.

Flash backs started then, memories of the days we spent as kids, images of the night before, any happy moment we shared rushed before me. And I was glad to have been able to remember them.

To be able to keep Lelouch alive, even if only in my memory. Times would be better, real peace would begin. The sacrifice of one mans life to save billions. I would never forget Lelouch and the times we shared. I would remember everything.

And I, Kururugi Suzaku, would live for Lelouch Vi Britianna.

**A/N:** Okay, so the fic started to turn a little romantic between the two. I couldn't help it! They're just so derrn cute. C: I have to thank my wifeyyyy Ashley for showing me this song. C: It's so amazing. Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoyed it. R&R please? C:


End file.
